6 ways you can “Show your Spots” by Took Edalow

by Took Edalow (@2kedalow)

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#loveyourspots

1. You can tattoo leopard spots on your body. 

Or Georgia O’Keefe flowers .. Whatever works.

2. You can go down on a women while she’s on her period. 

Uh.. Red wings.. Hello?! What could BE a more ridiculously awesome sort of spot? It’s like a big cow spot! I know we’re Church Of the Blacklite LEOPARD, but a spot is a spot. All spots count. #CowSpotsMatter

3. Spread you art around and be daring with your art!

Leave you spots all around! Give away or hang up you visual art, perform often as possible. Spread the spots you create on paper and show your inner spots. Let them then shine bright. Sing on the street! Sing in the subway!

Especially make art that comments on the things you

4. Speak out about what you believe. 

Did that guy just spew some misogynisic bullshit at the open mic you’re at? Tell him what you think. Tell him calmly – maybe he’ll learn.

Don’t be afraid to challenge religious fundamentalists to their face. Ask questions, see where they are coming from, but be sure not to hold back what you feel the truth is.

5. Give love!

In our society apathy can be considered “cool”, but don’t you feel so great when people express their care for you? I know I do! It’s that kindergarten lesson folks- treat other how you want to be treated. Let people know how you feel about them!

Reach out to someone you’d like to be close with, bring them into your circle, be brought into theirs. Expand your community and spread the love. Show the loving spots you’ve got and be ready to get right back the love you put out!

6. Activism!

We spoke about speaking about what you believe in, but what about acting in it? Feel strongly about an issue? Take matters into your own hands. Raise funds, get people involved. Our spots work best when many different types of spots are brought together for a common goal.

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You can also come see our show! Friday August 7th 2015 10 PM at Music Inn: World Instruments 169 W4th, NY, NY. Find out more at facebook.com/loveyourspots

Any way you can think to show your spots is spotty and fantastical! If you have shown your spots lately and want to submit info about that please do! Or if you have something you think would be a great addition to this list OR if you have writing/ art on the theme of religious commentary please submit to 2kedalow@gmail.com

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Introducing the Church Of The Blacklite Leopard Choir “The Clitque” By Took Edalow

by Minister of Mammory Glands Took Edalow (@2kedalow)
  
As some of you may know The Church of the Blacklite Leopard is holding services this Friday July 10th 2015 at Music Inn @ 169 W.4th street and we are adding a very very exciting new aspect to the show!

  
Previously, I was singing all the hymns all alone. Leopard such as myself are not thrilled to only show off their own spots, I want to show off everyone’s! It is a dream come true for myself and Brother John Murdock to introduce the Church of the Blacklite Leopard Choir!!!

This time around we are singing familar tunes… With not so familiar lyrics. We are covering topics such as female sexuality and the importance of consent. 

  
The members of our choir are RIDICULOUSLY talented individuals who create a crazy leopard orgasm when performing together.

  
Choir members (check their instagrams!) : Rowan Katz (thechaosfairy), Heather Morowitz (@believeinchocolate), William Glenn, Emily Weekes (@crazycatlady2525) and myself. 

We have been rehearsing in Washington Sq Park making folks a bit uncomfortable, but we sing in harmony with each other and mean no harm.

“Uhmm excuse me people of Washington sq park we were just trying to umm.. showing our spots..” 
Its going to be awesome.. So come see our friggin show!

Find our event at:

Facebook.com/loveyourspots 

@loveyourspots

“Christian Pastor Promises to Set Himself on Fire If Gay Marriage is Legalized Nationwide” …WELL THEN BURN YOURSELF by Brother John Murdock

By John Murdock

While the Church of The Blacklite Leopard does not usually condone violence, this is a rare case where our confused fundamentalist brethren may have Forest Gumped their way into a good plan, we will take collection for gasoline at our next service

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Read the story: Christian Pastor Promises to Set Himself on Fire If Gay Marriage is Legalized Nationwide

SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE by Jake Thomas

by Jake Thomas (From Church of The Blacklite Leopards first Zine and Prayer book)

I live in Brooklyn and work in New Jersey. Every weekday morning I pass through the Times Square nexus between the Port Authority Bus Terminal and the tunnels that lead off to practically every train in the MTA system. It is at this nexus that I have witnessed the encroachment of at least three small expressions of religious evangelism. The first- a quiet, welcoming group of people with hand trucks converted into portable bookshelves for religious materials. The second- a stout, mild-mannered gospel preacher and the third- a shrieking, sign-bearing, anti-goddamn-near-everything street harasser. The evangelicals have gone underground, my friends. According to the MTA [Section 1050.6: Use of the transit system], these people are playing by the rules… except maybe for the street harasser:

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It’s not surprising that the new, underground town square would attract evangelists. In fact, most of them don’t get in your face. I guess they’re more frequent lately but they are a daily reminder of how glad I am that all they can do is offer their religion and not mandate it. Some theocratic countries feel they must control philosophical debate at all costs. Raif Badawi is a Saudi Arabian blogger who will endure fifty lashes every Friday for the next 5 months, simply for questioning his country’s mandated faith- and then he starts his real jail sentence. What sort of faith is it, by the way, which cannot stand behind its own claims and instead demands obedience? Most of them, once they’re in power.

Politicians proclaiming the Bible as law have about as much integrity as a singer thanking God for his last Grammy. It’s a placeholder, a verbal stand-in for the social contract. Everything from “I’ll try and remember not to feel superior to you”, all the way up to “I promise I’ll mostly respect your property and try not to kill you”. Dog politics. It’s the way people have always been. But when politicians start quoting the Bible as their motive and not civic duty, it has three negative effects on society.

First, asserting one faith as superior enough to be made law automatically fractures society and places “the others” on uneven social ground. The Others will have a reliable counter-reaction and everyone else will have to stay out of the way. Everyone must abide, to wait and tolerate, and see who is right in the end. Except that religious tolerance really just means waiting to say “I told you so”. Perhaps the pathetic thing about the fanatics is that they seem to suspect that they might not get the chance to say they told us so.

The second negative effect is an inherent death wish, one of the dirty little secrets of many religions. The idea of an Apocalypse, a Judgment Day with real fire and brimstone, floods, plagues, torrential rain, the works. If you haven’t heard of TAD- Target Acquisition Disorder, it’s a subconscious thing that happens when you are standing on top of something like a roof, looking at something way off in the distance. You’ll naturally lean forward in spite of your own sense of balance, to acquire your target. It almost got me killed at a party. Believing in an Apocalypse is like having TAD for the extermination of humanity and we have a lot of politicians who believe in the Apocalypse. For these fanatics every disaster holds portent, predicting a calamitous end, and that prophecyneeds to come true to give their other beliefs purpose and meaning. Apparently they feel that they must be watched at all times in order that they behave- and having observed their actions, I am inclined to agree with them.

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The third effect is that allowing theocratic rule exports your government’s moral authority to an outside source. If we’re facing a Christian nation, for instance, we will be giving moral authority away to the vicar of Christ, the Pope (who will have to share the spotlight with every religious hustler looking for a piece of the pie). When I hear clamoring for an America for Jesus, I think of all those thousands of thousands jailed, burned, maimed, tortured and exiled, and shudder to think what might happen if those sort of fanatics got their leash around our country’s throat.

The United States still has a chance to fulfill its mandate of equality and its promise of a safe haven for those fleeing persecution, famine and war. We have much to do and much to atone for but we will have a chance to, as long as we keep state and church separate. E pluribus unum- out of many, one. Not one religion to rule them all.

Faith Healing Plants, Goldfish Communions and Busty Hymen the Non Virgin Sacrifice by Minster of Mammory Glands Took Edalow

Writing by Miss Took Edalow and Photos by Eden Brower (check out her blog!) and William Glenn

Last week on Wednesday June 17th Church of the Blacklite Leopard held services at Sidewalk Cafe. It was a late show because those with the most “spots” *wink wink* tend to stay out late.

The show started out with a hymn of sexual pride and beauty entitled “Ave Vagina” by myself. It was followed by a sermon by Brother John Murdock about of the ridiculousness of fundamentalism and the wonderfulness of freedom from conservationism.  Did I mention he also made a giant balloon vagina? As he tossed it out into the audience I ran out to stimulate the clitoris and… popped the cherry.. I mean the balloon. He requested that our audience give him a “MEOW!” The audience obliged.  It should also be noted that both Murdock and Took were painted like Leopards (make up by Took). Murdock as a Snow Leopard.

Brother John Murdock and his Balloon Vagine. Note the Leopard Spots!  Photo by Eden Brower

Brother John Murdock and his Balloon Vagine. Note the Leopard Spots!
Photo by Eden Brower

The lovely and demonic Minnie Crisis  performed burlesque as a little Church-going girl dressed in white finding porn and “finding the darkness” in a porn magazine. She also performed Go-Go dancing at intermission and at the end of the show as Busty Hymen the School Girl Non-Virgin sacrifice.  We absolutely loved having her and hope she will become a regular performer at our services.

Congregation participation is very important. We gave out communion of Goldfish Crackers and Leopard Spotting with face paint. We were accompanied by “The Circle of Life” This is when big cats become re-born into Blacklite Leopards! To the beat of “Imanyama imanyama ama” I sang  “spot spot spot spots spots spots spots spots..”

I transformed from my Feminist Minister character into Reverend Monsanto. I faith healed the “evil asexual plants.” I claimed that I am a Heterovegan. I do not eat any foods that asexually reproduce. I do not eat strawberries. I do not send ANYONE English Dandelions. It is an ABOMINATION. It is “Adam and Eve! Not Colin and Pollen!” Photosynthesis was revealed to be a ungodly theory. “Photosynthesis is just a THEORY!” The plants were given “Holy Transplanting Therapy” also known as “Plant Straightening” or the “Re-Weeding Process” and turned heterosexual. They were then given proper gender conforming wedding garbs and married.

Plants being "Faith Healed" photo by William Glenn

Plants being “Faith Healed” photo by William Glenn

Confessions were collected by audience members. People confessed to everything from putting blood in their “awful roommates” food to not being in the letter “S”.  Brother John Murdock read them aloud to the audience commenting on the hilarity of many of them. He claimed that “having a Jim Henson fetish is nothing to be ashamed of”

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Brother John Murdock reads confessions. Photo by William Glenn

Minister Took sings a hymn. Photo by Eden Brower

Minister Took sings a hymn. Photo by Eden Brower

Finally the show closed with a Hymn and a Go-Go dance.

The congregation seemed to enjoy the service and left happy to love their spots!

Please join us next month details on the next day of services to be posted to our blog and on our facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/loveyourspots

Much love and spottery!

Minister Of Mammory Glands Took Edalow

Brother Murdock and Minister Edalow

Brother Murdock and Minister Edalow